The Birthing Trend of the Dowry System and the Future of Our Society
Introduction to Dowry
A Dowry (Jahez) is defined as the property, wealth, or generally other demanded things transferred by the bride’s family to either the groom or his family at the time of the marriage. Sometimes, Dowry is 15 – 20 dresses for the bride, clothes for the in-laws, groceries, or clothes that both the bride and groom can use for a year. Dowry also includes a refrigerator, car, motorbike, bungalow, furniture, bedcovers, pillows, spoons, crockery, or money, etc., that are usually expected by the groom's family from the bride ones.General Causes and Consequences of the Dowry System
Disputes over Dowry can lead to acts of violence against women, such as murder, acid attacks, mental and physically torturing, etc. While the other causes of the dowry include the greedy demand of the groom's family, the bride's family wanting to give it, the purpose of building a reputation in the society, illiteracy ratio in the people, and moreover, ignorance from the Anti-Dowry laws.The Trend of Dowry System in Our Society
The concept of the Dowry system was common until the late of 18th century in Europe while in South Asia, the Dowry system is a centuries-old custom. In Pakistan, the Dowry custom is adopted mostly from Indian culture. In recent years, the value of the Dowry system is increased day by day in Pakistan and even the trend is now reached from the elite and upper class to the middle and lower class of the society and from cities and urban areas into local and rural areas of the country.The trend of the Dowry custom in our society is mainly accelerated and boosted by the upper class. They provide things from basic needs to the things which come in luxuries including luxury cars, and luxury bungalows. The purpose of giving a Dowry is to show off to the people and to have a reputation in society. The class of poor people is being grinded in the competition of Dowry and most of them did not want to marry their daughters.
Earlier in 2010, the Dowry system was only limited to the urban and city areas of Pakistan, particularly to the upper class of society. But now it is almost reached every place in the country. It also wrapped out our district Lower Dir. The trend is increasing day by day in the local community and creating many serious problems if it is not stopped on time. Under observations and knowledge, now in many families, the birth of a daughter is regarded as a curse, shame, and burden.
Most of the boy’s family demands and accept that girl whose family has high social status, are highly expert in-home services and are also educated to do their job, respectively. This emerging trend in our society is an act of discrimination against those unmarried girls whose values are defined by their respective statuses. When a girl begins to live in such a society with a sense of insecurity due to Dowry will develop an inferiority complex and will become emotionally suppressed. She will feel herself a burden on her family. So she may become depressed and can suicide herself. Also, due to fewer Dowries, sometimes, the in-laws torture the girl, they abuse, insult, and pass sarcastic remarks to her.
Islamic Perspective on Dowry System
In the Islamic faith, a woman has a high status. She is always honored and respected. But due to cultural influences there are some transgresses that are crept into Islamic practices which are neither supported by Islamic laws nor the new emerging trend of the Dowry (Jahez) system is one of them. Although Islam has no concept of giving and taking of Dowry and it appears to be growing day by day among Muslims, especially in areas such as India, Pakistan, and Bangladesh.The Muslims of the sub-continent incorporated the Dowry custom from the previous upper class of Hindu communities. They usually give wedding gifts such as cash and other valuable things to the groom’s family to strengthen the friendship bond between the two people. But nowadays the Dowry is used as a tool of coercion and greed in all areas of Pakistan and the family of the bride must give gifts to the family of the groom or the marriage will not take place. The Dowry value is always set higher than the bride's family can afford and sadly, this resulting the bride being a burden on her family. While the bride's family then struggles to pay the price of the “gift”. According to the Islamic scholars, the Prophet (PBUH) stated that the best marriage is one in which the minimum amount of money is spent.
How can Dowry Practices be Reduced?
Now the question is arising that how one can reduce Dowry practices in society. The answer is not that simple to say no to Dowry practices, but there are some important steps if one follows, the Dowry practices maybe definitely minimized; 1st one is, the parents must educate their daughters. So, they can be able to ask for their rights, and also, the parents should encourage their daughters to have their own careers and to be independent and a responsible member of society.The 2nd one is that parents must not discriminate between their children. They must always treat daughters equally to sons. The 3rd and most important one is we must not encourage the practice of giving or taking of Dowry. In this, the boy’s family can play a cream role to vanish the dowry practices from society.
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